raising turnip

I've just finished reading Raising Turnip. This book is from the perspective of a single adopter. I didn't find it as gritty and challenging as most that I've been reading so far, but it was interesting and there were still a few takeaways...

I quite liked the concept of the belly line

  "In an effort to stop Freddie over-eating, when he wanted more, we would always say let’s check the belly line. He would lift his top up and I would run my finger across his belly or chest where the food was up to. If I thought he had eaten too much I would say, ‘The belly line is really high,’ and draw it right under his neck. If I thought he could eat a bit more, then the belly line would be much lower. He never questioned the fact that he couldn’t see it"

I've thought a bit about the conversation on being a single mum. though I have had the conversation on being single with friends' children, it's different when they are being asked about their family.

"From the time I first me Freddie there were lots of questions about the reason I was single. I had explained to Freddie that I had had boyfriends and for various reasons it hadn’t worked out. He made me go through each of them with explanations of why they hadn’t worked, and I tried to keep things simple and in terms he would understand, ...

I would also get lots of questions of why don’t I have a Dad, I want a Dad, can’t you get me a Dad. The strange thing was that Freddie wanted a Dad, but he didn’t want me to have a husband and didn’t connect that the two would be the same thing."

She talks about his protectiveness over her and the jealousy when attention is perceived to be elsewhere, even when she's administering first aid for a friend of his. I can't say this is a surprise and was e well aware that shared attention is something that they would struggle with. In truth, this is another reason I have requested siblings.. for them to also have each other. This won't deflect the questions above, or the protectiveness they will feel, but i do feel it will help them to learn to share attention between them to some extent.

I felt this book shared more on parenting experience and had less specific now on the adoption challenges, but then it all helps.

She finished with a note on some of her lessons learned

"The last five and a half years have taught me a lot of things including a cordless Dyson, dishwasher and tumble dryer are invaluable. Choose your battles; if you decide to pick your kids up on everything, it will be an exhausting existence for all of you. Have your arguments and move on especially if there are only two of you. Once the point is made don’t labour on it. A sense of humour can get you through most things, even if you can’t laugh about a situation at the time, it is good to look back and find some humour, especially if you can laugh about it together. From day one I wanted Freddie to know he could talk to me about anything and I would be there to listen. Doesn’t mean I had all of the answers and knew the best way to respond, but at least we can try and work through things together."

Those that know me well know how pleased I was when I found my home with dishwasher and washer dryer. I've built up a lot of little work around over the years for working out what works for me for getting chores and bigger jobs done.

Thanks to my parents, I also have a healthy dose of being able to recognise when something needs to divert into a bit of lightness, raspberries and silly to help lift out of the Day to day debate spirals that can occur.

I found the now about the teacher's feedback very interesting and one to note for the future. (They cited behaviour that wasn't being seen, evidently in an effort to keep some of the additional classroom support)

An interesting read, but I wouldn't say it added as much on my learning curve as some of the others. On the flip side, it showed that some experiences may not have the same scale of challenges.