Trauma and tips for family & friends

Kids who are up for adoption have generally been through trauma - it may be varying levels, or from various causes. As a result, It is fairly usual for adoptive children to act younger than their actual age and i would need to respond to the age they show. This might vary through a day, but i need to allow for that regression so that they can feel that safe space.

It also means that i am unlikely to parent in the same way as others (and differently to how i might have been when looking after other kids). I'll share more about this later on this site.

Going through the training means I'll get a lot of insight into the types of trauma. I am unlikely to share the full details of the trauma of the child/ren i adopt, but i may share some insights for behaviours that you'll see.

how family and friends - stepbystep (first4adoption.org.uk)

It Takes a Village - 8 simple ways to support your friend's adoption | Austin Family Magazine

Comments

Transition planning

Transitions, the uea model and transition planning So when I was told that I had been linked I was told that I should receive a draft transition plan shortly afterwards. One month on, i had my information sharing day, but still no transition plan. Matching panel and then the ADM decision came and went with no draft transition plan. A meeting was put in and finally a transition plan was completed whilst in the virtual teams meeting. That meeting was 10 weeks after the confirmation of my link! What I did manage to ascertain before that point was that we'd be following the UEA Model ( https://www.movingtoadoption.co.uk/resources ). The UEA model sets out to take between four and eight weeks. At one point i was told it would be four weeks. The final answer was five weeks; 4th July to 8th August this year.

thanks.... it's the trauma

"What a really well behaved little one ..." is a frequent comment about my little one. Sometimes this is meant in a nice way, sometimes this is means that the speaker is feeling overwhelmed/judged for the fact their little one(s) have more typical reactions to instructions at this age. Unfortunately, this is one where nothing you say can help them to feel better. The truth is 'thanks.... it's the trauma', but that's not really the sensible thing to share. What does it look like? - Doing what she's told - not showing when she is angry / upset openly at the time (then reacting later/looking for me to recognise it*) - sitting and waiting quietly when others might be jumping about - saying "I'm sorry" when something is not their fault - ... and more (that i'll need to add to later!) *What this means is that i find my own social battery running down much quicker than i was previously used to, because i use a lot of my energy looking for ...

First day of transitions

What an amazing experience.. Could not have asked for better!! First meeting and she came through the doors, saw me and ran over shouting 'Mummyyyyy!!!!' before giving me a giant hug! I think the intro book (& amazing foster carer work) did their job!!! 😯

Sing in the rain

Search This Blog