Skip to main content

Thinking ahead for single parenting

Timesavers and single parent survival thinking

So there's a lot that i've been looking into for how i'd answer questions about what i'd do to help myself as a single parent. So here's a few ideas so far to refer back to, for real life later so i don't forget, and for answering interview questions...

- Children's shows in the car the night before

- Sort the children's clothes into a tidy pile in the order they need to be put on and the right way around.

- Do everything you can the night before, including setting the table

- quick and easy food options

-do the two kids washing on different days so that they don't get tangled up together - easier to sort out afterwards

- Save hours by stopping yourself from asking pointless questions like ' well, where is the other one' 

- Precook and freezing meals

- Ordering supermarket online 

- Couple of Go Bags / Easy play options*

    - for when ill

    - for in case of emergency

* Colouring sets, comics/Beanos, jigsaws, ...  Also options for lounge picnic / den making.

-Keep overnight bag options

- Thermal cup for me

- Layered sheets with waterproof sheet in the middle?

- Play therapy activities book when feeling frazzled & struggling for ideas

- Locked down tablet

**

Emotional capacity to support all difficulties in different ways. 

– being able to share time evenly when one might have more complex needs – example - had time with one whilst having a nap/ one having TV time / to have time with other. 

Little connecting things – painting nails, doing something where could chat without being eye to eye, rubbing legs.

If baths together hype them up – potentially baby gates so that can still see and hear us.  

Bounce off of people ‘ this happened / this happened/ ooh do you thing that meant this?’ 

Put in place ‘special time’ once a week with 30-40mins with just one of them. Protected time for them.

Quite a lot of visual aids with the kids, calendars to count down to particular things. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Matching panel date confirmed

On 2nd April I posted saying my social worker was due to let me know my panel date. I'd been told probably mid to late May and chased this up a few times, but between Easter and then me spending last week with covid, it wasn't until lunchtime today (27 April) that they confirmed my Matching Panel date as 23rd June. A strange "mid to late May", but I'm happy to at least have my date. ** Update - not 24 hours later and I've had a correction through -the date is 23rd May not June!! *** So, what now? The next thing is actually tomorrow when I travel down to meet the foster carers and nursery workers etc to hear more about her / see her from a distance. Next is chat with her medical practitioner on 4th May  My social worker and hers have to write a large report that explains all about why we are suited to each other, how transitions would work and what support we'd have moving forward. I'll be asked for some inputs to that (their words: "there's lo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Transition planning

Transitions, the uea model and transition planning So when I was told that I had been linked I was told that I should receive a draft transition plan shortly afterwards. One month on, i had my information sharing day, but still no transition plan. Matching panel and then the ADM decision came and went with no draft transition plan.  A meeting was put in and finally a transition plan was completed whilst in the virtual teams meeting. That meeting was 10 weeks after the confirmation of my link!  What I did manage to ascertain before that point was that we'd be following the UEA Model (  https://www.movingtoadoption.co.uk/resources ). The UEA model sets out to take between four and eight weeks. At one point i was told it would be four weeks. The final answer was five weeks; 4th July to 8th August this year.  
Post a Comment
Read more

thanks.... it's the trauma

"What a really well behaved little one ..." is a frequent comment about my little one. Sometimes this is meant in a nice way, sometimes this is means that the speaker is feeling overwhelmed/judged for the fact their little one(s) have more typical reactions to instructions at this age. Unfortunately, this is one where nothing you say can help them to feel better. The truth is 'thanks.... it's the trauma', but that's not really the sensible thing to share. What does it look like?   - Doing what she's told  - not showing when she is angry / upset openly at the time (then reacting later/looking for me to recognise it*)  - sitting and waiting quietly when others might be jumping about  - saying "I'm sorry" when something is not their fault  - ... and more (that i'll need to add to later!) *What this means is that i find my own social battery running down much quicker than i was previously used to, because i use a lot of my energy looking for ...
Post a Comment
Read more