example of applying Theraplay

Little one was missing foster mum today. We saw them twice in quick succession a few weeks ago and this has a way of unsettling things..

The signs fluctuating mood between irrational outbursts, anger and upset at minor runs that shouldn't upset.

We had lots of cuddles and talked about them. We talked about some memories of things we'd done the three of us. After he bath I used a moisturiser she used a lot when at her foster family's house. We also used this for a theraplay exercise when we were on a six week course last year. This meant we could transition from talking about it being used with her by foster carer, to talking about us using it. I was then able to rub it on her feet and hands singing what we did this to in theraplay and transition her into a calm space.

It's not always easy to think of how to recognise and address these moments, but I thought it was worth sharing this one.

Comments

thanks.... it's the trauma

"What a really well behaved little one ..." is a frequent comment about my little one. Sometimes this is meant in a nice way, sometimes this is means that the speaker is feeling overwhelmed/judged for the fact their little one(s) have more typical reactions to instructions at this age. Unfortunately, this is one where nothing you say can help them to feel better. The truth is 'thanks.... it's the trauma', but that's not really the sensible thing to share. What does it look like? - Doing what she's told - not showing when she is angry / upset openly at the time (then reacting later/looking for me to recognise it*) - sitting and waiting quietly when others might be jumping about - saying "I'm sorry" when something is not their fault - ... and more (that i'll need to add to later!) *What this means is that i find my own social battery running down much quicker than i was previously used to, because i use a lot of my energy looking for ...

Useful information for Friends and Family

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Direct Contact prep resources

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Sing in the rain

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