Emotional intelligence

An adoptive child's emotional intelligence could have been 'helped' or hindered by their earlier lives and what they've been though since.

For my little one, she is highly tuned into her emotions and into naming those feelings. We have a couple of books about feelings that are easily accessible to her and she will occasionally specifically ask for one or pick it out.

The most recent example of this was after meeting up with her foster mother, foster brother and the new baby that they are now fostering. When meeting the baby, my Little One did very well on looking out for her for the day. On returning home however, within an hour she asked for the feelings book and dug through it to find a particular picture (below) "This me!" She said. "Mine!!!"

A bit of a chat followed to confirm and then talk through processing for how jealous she was feeling of the baby being with her foster family and of having to share them with the baby on our meet up.

At 3, she may be young, but she definitely knows how she feels!!

Comments

Transition planning

Transitions, the uea model and transition planning So when I was told that I had been linked I was told that I should receive a draft transition plan shortly afterwards. One month on, i had my information sharing day, but still no transition plan. Matching panel and then the ADM decision came and went with no draft transition plan. A meeting was put in and finally a transition plan was completed whilst in the virtual teams meeting. That meeting was 10 weeks after the confirmation of my link! What I did manage to ascertain before that point was that we'd be following the UEA Model ( https://www.movingtoadoption.co.uk/resources ). The UEA model sets out to take between four and eight weeks. At one point i was told it would be four weeks. The final answer was five weeks; 4th July to 8th August this year.

thanks.... it's the trauma

"What a really well behaved little one ..." is a frequent comment about my little one. Sometimes this is meant in a nice way, sometimes this is means that the speaker is feeling overwhelmed/judged for the fact their little one(s) have more typical reactions to instructions at this age. Unfortunately, this is one where nothing you say can help them to feel better. The truth is 'thanks.... it's the trauma', but that's not really the sensible thing to share. What does it look like? - Doing what she's told - not showing when she is angry / upset openly at the time (then reacting later/looking for me to recognise it*) - sitting and waiting quietly when others might be jumping about - saying "I'm sorry" when something is not their fault - ... and more (that i'll need to add to later!) *What this means is that i find my own social battery running down much quicker than i was previously used to, because i use a lot of my energy looking for ...

First day of transitions

What an amazing experience.. Could not have asked for better!! First meeting and she came through the doors, saw me and ran over shouting 'Mummyyyyy!!!!' before giving me a giant hug! I think the intro book (& amazing foster carer work) did their job!!! 😯

Sing in the rain

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